From the recording The Happy Ending Song

Lyrics

He was looking all that- in a Stetson hat - had a Mona Lisa smile                                
Two tone boots and a watch pocket vest- he was rockin’ it wild-west style          
I had my suspicion- he was there on a mission- a fishin’ for a one night stand     
But I had to admit- he looked cowboy legit – a genuine Marlboro man                   
Well it wasn’t by chance or happenstance- that he showed up at the Rend-ez-vous bar                                
On ladies night- when the drinks were half priced - I don’t think he followed a star                          
A little too polished, too well rehearsed- a major league player for sure
Had it all figured out and there wasn’t much doubt- he was all set up for the score          
A quick stop at the bar then he made his approach- with a wink and a drink in each hand
He ran his routine - like a well-oiled machine,- ‘til I put a wrench in his plan
You know sometimes I swear - it’s getting to where a girl can’t hardly blink
‘Fore some slick guy with a gleam in his eye shows up with a eight dollar drink
They’re crafty, they’re clever, they’ll tell you whatever they think that a girl wants ta hear
All they’re really intending’s - a no string happy ending - hit and run - get her done - disappear
Well, I been off the farm - a time or two, - enough to figure out                               
What the guys who troll the pubs and clubs - are really all about                               
You won’t find Mr. Right on dollar draft night – but you might find Mr. Right now                             
Mama used to say - if you give the milk away, nobody’s gonna pay for the cow
I’ve been kissed, I’ve been burned, but I lived and I learned,  I’m all done with the sneaks and the cheats
All done with the lies and the snake oils guys tryin’ to worm their way into my sheets
You know sometimes I swear - it’s getting to where a girl can’t (cain’t) hardly blink
‘Fore some slick guy with a gleam in his eye shows up with a eight dollar drink
They’re crafty, they’re clever, they’ll tell you whatever they think that a girl wants to hear
All they’re really intending’s - a no string happy ending - hit and run - get her done – disappear
Did I happen to mention their specific intention - hit and run - get her done – disappear